


bandages

by crockettmarcel



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Hurt/Comfort, ava looking after sarah bc lets be honest. she needs it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27765091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crockettmarcel/pseuds/crockettmarcel
Summary: ava changes sarah's bandages for her
Relationships: Ava Bekker/Sarah Reese
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	bandages

The apartment was completely dark when Ava got home, save for the light from the fish tank, casting a gentle warm glow over one corner of the living room. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for Ava to see by as she took her shoes off, then made her way through to the bedroom.

She paused when she got to the door, taking a moment to press her ear against it and check if Sarah was awake. The TV was on, but there was every chance that she’d fallen asleep hours ago, without turning it off.

“Sarah?” She gently knocked on the door, then paused, waiting for a reply. Nothing.

“I’m going to come in now, okay?”

Still nothing. Already, images of the worst-case scenario were flooding through her head, thoughts of what Sarah could have done while she was at work, and she struggled to force them back as she went in.

Like the rest of the apartment, the room was cloaked in darkness, lit up only by the TV on the dresser. Ava could just about make out Sarah’s still form in the bed, almost hidden under piles of blankets, and it made her chest ache. As she moved closer to the bed and turned a lamp on, she could see more clearly the state Sarah was in, and it took everything in her not to just run over and hug her.

She was wearing one of Ava’s old hoodies, with the hood pulled up over her curls, and she’d tightened the drawstrings so only half of her face was visible. One of her hands was clutching her stuffed dog, and the skin around each of her fingers had been picked raw; little spots of blood dotted the covers, not for the first time, and probably not for the last either. 

Ava dumped her bag next to the bed, then climbed in next to Sarah, wrapping her arms around her in the tightest hug she could give. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, both pretending to watch the National Geographic documentary that was still playing, until eventually, Ava pulled away.

“I need to check your arms.”

Sarah nodded, avoiding eye contact as she pulled up the sleeves of the hoodie. 

Both of her forearms were bandaged up, and the skin that wasn’t hidden by the bandages was littered with thin white lines, some newer than others, and all of them enough to make Ava cry at the thought of the woman she loved doing this to herself. She carefully inspected the bandages, then looked back up at Sarah’s face, taking in every detail. Even now, with tear-stained cheeks and dark circles under her eyes, she was still the most beautiful person Ava knew.

“Are these the same bandages as yesterday?”

Sarah nodded, pulling her arms away from Ava’s grip and rolling her sleeves back down. She trusted Ava, probably more than she’d trusted anyone else before her, but she was still learning to feel comfortable having her arms exposed like this. It was a big deal, letting people see that part of her, and she couldn’t help how naked she felt when people saw her scars.

“They need changing, my love.” 

Ava leaned down to open the bottom drawer of her nightstand, and quickly produced a plastic box filled with bandages, alcohol wipes, tape, and everything else she needed to look after Sarah’s injuries. After the first few times this had happened, Ava had put the box together, adding to it and refilling it whenever things started running out. 

Neither of them said anything as Ava carefully removed the bandages and cleaned the wounds with an alcohol wipe. They were healing nicely, Ava pointed out, and Sarah had been right when she’d said they didn’t need stitches. Eventually, they’d fade into raised, white lines like the others, and Sarah wouldn’t be able to say what caused her to do that to herself, any more than she could the ones above or below. They were all the same in the end, a reminder that Sarah was hurting, that she couldn’t cope. 

When Ava was done, she put the box away, then wrapped her arms back around Sarah, placing a gentle kiss to her temple as she did so. 

“I’ll order takeout tonight, okay? We can eat in here and you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Sarah nodded and nestled her head in the crook of Ava’s neck. She was warm and safe, and even as Sarah cried silently onto Ava’s t-shirt, she knew that she was loved more than she could imagine.


End file.
